We were talking about Lindsay Lohan

and we were like, drunk whatever but why is she driving? If I was a celebrity I’d have a driver for God’s sake. No, a big star like her I’d have TWO – why not? One of them could drive, and I’d let the other one get shitfaced – just outsource the _whole_ _thing_, and I’d sit in the back seat and play on my PSP.

Only Lindsay Lohan is a girl and therefore probably not as much into video games, Although they are making more games for girls with dolphins and puppies and stuff. I heard she likes Devendra, so maybe she’d like his new game. I had some trouble getting it to work when I first got it – I stuck the disc in my Xbox and nothing happened – but I huffed a little more butthash and it roared to life.

You’re a butterfly, and you start trapped in a giant beard and you have to escape. You have a little reciprocal saw which helps. As you chop along, look out for things in the beard. Some are good (the golden nectar globs), some are bad (mean ants that bite!), some seem good but are actually bad (chocolate – chocolate = poison to butterflies). So be careful, Lindsay.

When you get out of the beard (this is like a walkthrough), you’re in the Land of Colors – shooting along a rainbow. You have to hit the little music blobs that shoot at you down the different color tracks – it’s like a cross between Guitar Hero and Tempest. As you shoot along you see that the colors and music blobs are streaming forth from Joana Newsom’s harp. Careful! Get too close and you are sucked in and chopped to pieces by the razor sharp strings!

Whew. That was close. Anyway it goes on like that. So going back to Lindsay, she could also just be hammered in the _back_ of the car, where it’s perfectly legal.